she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
