and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
