Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
