do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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