They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
