Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
