does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
