I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
