Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
