Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
