the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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