It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
