I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
