Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
