She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
