I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
