ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
