i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
