Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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