bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
