Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
