I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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