too bad you live with your parents still
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
