dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Green mimosas i think yes
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
