Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
