btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
