she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I need moral support for this bender
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
