I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
