Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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