Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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