we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I didn't notice because vodka
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
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