He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
