So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
