Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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