Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
