was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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