I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
