My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
