Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize