i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize