i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
