the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
