remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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