So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
