At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
God, I missed his penis.
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