people are starting to question the shark bite story
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
