pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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