Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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