look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
