She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
