I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
