I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she was so not down for the gang bang
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
