Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You were trust falling into bushes
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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