I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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