How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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